Why Am I Paying His Rent?

I met with a wife tonight who is ready for a divorce. They have exhausted the options for making the marriage work, but she cannot get him off the couch – literally – and she is ready to move on with her life.  She has asked him to move out, and he does not knowContinue reading “Why Am I Paying His Rent?”

How to avoid creating a murderer

Happy Halloween. Here is the scariest thing I saw today: “Wife shall purchase Life Insurance in the amount of the outstanding mortgage on the marital residence naming Husband as beneficiary.” Gave me chills – like reading the woman’s death warrant.  Spooky on Halloween! Not so bad by itself – I agree – but this wasContinue reading “How to avoid creating a murderer”

How Long Should Alimony Last?

Not every divorce is an alimony case – if both people worked full-time and paid the bills equally and have the ability to continue supporting themselves, most states will not assign alimony payments.  If one spouse stayed home (or spent the days playing tennis), raised children (or pets), and ran the household (well or poorly),Continue reading “How Long Should Alimony Last?”

Beginning Your New Life

Nobody gets married with the intention of getting divorced.  Quite the opposite, “from this day forward, ‘til death parts us.”  And, as we know, it might have been simpler if death had parted certain couples before the divorce process.  Nonetheless once it is over, the sooner it is truly over the better.  Because Divorce Sucks, andContinue reading “Beginning Your New Life”

My Favorite Types of Divorces

My favorite types of divorces: First, the childless divorce, second, the adult child divorce (with an asterisk). The first category, the childless divorce, is the one I recommend most strongly.  If you are married and plan to divorce please do not have children.  If you are unhappily married please do not have children.  If youContinue reading “My Favorite Types of Divorces”

What it means to see things from the other person’s perspective, and how it might help.

A woman called me last week devastated.  Her 28 year old husband told her he was going to visit his family in another state for a week. By the end of the week he called her and said he changed his mind, he is not returning. He wants a divorce.  (I am not exaggerating, theseContinue reading “What it means to see things from the other person’s perspective, and how it might help.”

Why you want Melissa Gilbert to marry your ex-husband

47 year old Melissa Gilbert filed for divorce this week from her second husband, Bruce Boxleitner, after 16 years of marriage.  The couple has a 15 year old son together, Michael (named for Gilbert’s former “Little House on the Prairie” Co-Star, Michael Landon).    Gilbert’s filing referenced the fact that the couple has been separated sinceContinue reading “Why you want Melissa Gilbert to marry your ex-husband”

What do kids want to know about divorce?

Children want to know a few things:  whose fault is it, what can I do to make this stop, when will we be a family again. Parents have an obligation to have their children understand these responses:  no matter whose fault it is, it is never, never the child’s fault and there is nothing theContinue reading “What do kids want to know about divorce?”

10 SENTENCES A DIVORCING PERSON MIGHT SAY

First, a quick refresher on the 5 basic ground rules to understanding (and loving) your divorce: 1.         DIVORCE SUCKS!! 2.         All spouses are monsters (including your spouse’s spouse). 3.         It does not matter whose fault it is.        4.         It is never too late. 5.         If someone’s life is in danger, get out now.  Figure theContinue reading “10 SENTENCES A DIVORCING PERSON MIGHT SAY”

Hi Honey, Let’s Get Divorced.

INFORMING YOUR SPOUSE, FAMILY AND FRIENDS How you tell someone about your divorce plays a large part in how he or she will react to the news.  If your spouse does not already know, try telling someone else, first, to practice what you will say.  Decide what your goals are:  to hurt your spouse?  ToContinue reading “Hi Honey, Let’s Get Divorced.”