Holidays and Starting the New Year

As we wrap up the holidays, are you wandering from room to room wondering how you have survived so long with your spouse? Do you catch yourself forcing a smile for so long that your jaw starts to clench? Sometimes we spend the holidays with family and friends, thinking we are shielding them from ourContinue reading “Holidays and Starting the New Year”

Hunker Down – Here Come the Holidays!

As we all know, the end of the year brings with it all of the joys and excitement of the holiday season.  Unless you are going through a divorce.  Then it brings all of the “joys” and “excitement” of the holiday season. Here is an excerpt from an email I just sent a client ofContinue reading “Hunker Down – Here Come the Holidays!”

Weekly Glass of Wine

Why would anyone in his right mind babysit for his own kid on his free weekend while their mom, who collects alimony and child support, goes out on a date? There are, it turns out, several reasons. When my friend Ned was newly divorced his ex-wife and he decided to stay on friendly terms. ThisContinue reading “Weekly Glass of Wine”

What is the Goal of a Mediated Divorce?

In a mediated divorce we are trying to make sure that everyone gets a fair share of all available resources, including  the assets and debts, the income, and time with the children. But in a litigated divorce there’s an extra item to distribute: Blame. Unlike everything else on the list, there is usually more than enoughContinue reading “What is the Goal of a Mediated Divorce?”

Don’t Take Your Ex’s Word for Everything

I received a call this week from “Tony,” a fictitious name for a man I represented in 1998, when he and his first wife had a 3 year old son together.  He has been a generous and involved father to his child from that marriage for the entire 15 years since his divorce. He paidContinue reading “Don’t Take Your Ex’s Word for Everything”

Whose divorce is this, anyway?

I had a surprising phone call today with an old friend.  He has been in the divorce process for almost a year, and could not see a way to conclude the process and get on with his life.  The reason, sadly, is because his wife won’t let him.  After all of these years of lettingContinue reading “Whose divorce is this, anyway?”

Finding A Theme In Life

I don’t know about your house, but in my family, the resolutions have already begun meeting reality.  Diets are hard to maintain in cold weather.  No one is going out for a run in the snow.  With only one day of school under our belts, the backpacks were already in the middle of the livingContinue reading “Finding A Theme In Life”

Holidays and Who to Have Over

The holiday guest lists are being written.  I love asking people whom they are going to see over the holidays because there are so often fun surprises tucked inside the “usual” family list. A few of my favorite answers I have heard include: *   My husband and our kids, my 2 sisters, their husbands andContinue reading “Holidays and Who to Have Over”

Trust Issues and Moving Forward

When a love affair goes bad a jilted party often wants to reduce his or her feelings to writing as a way of processing the experience.  Some people then burn these letters, or file them away.  Of course, there are those who drop them in the mail or hit “send” once they are written.  Occasionally,Continue reading “Trust Issues and Moving Forward”

How All the Pieces Fit

What is a successful divorce?  In my opinion, it has nothing to do with accumulated assets, properties, alimony, or support payments.  It has everything to do with an ability to carry forward the best parts of the person you married while being able to walk away from the parts that don’t work for you.  WhenContinue reading “How All the Pieces Fit”