1. DIVORCE SUCKS!!
2. All spouses are monsters (including your spouse’s spouse).
3. It does not matter whose fault it is.
4. It is never too late.
5. If someone’s life is in danger, get out now. Figure the rest out later.
For a more substantial explanation of each rule, see 5 Ground Rules (posted July 11, 2011)
Here are 10 sentences you might hear/say during a divorce & which rule to apply. Whether you are divorced, divorcing, or the team mate of a divorcing party – learn the 5 Ground Rules and apply them liberally!
1. “We had decided on everything except the CD collection, and now we are back to yelling at each other every time we see each other.” divorce sucks.
2. “I ran into her at a mutual friend’s party, and she absolutely refused to leave.” All spouses are monsters (including your spouse’s spouse).
3. “If it were not for that whore of a secretary, we would not be in this situation. She should be fired as a requirement of the divorce.” It does not matter whose fault it is.
4. “I always thought I would get back into teaching once we settled down, but now that I have been out of the work force for so many years, I just don’t think I can do it.” It is never too late.
5. “I know I called the police on him last week, but if I don’t want to move out and let him stay in our house because I might lose my claim on it.” If someone is in danger, get out now. Figure the rest out later.
6. “I’m so depressed about this whole divorce, I just can’t eat, anymore. I’ve lost 25 pounds in the past month. But the bright side is, maybe I’ll look better to her now, and she’ll forget about the divorce.” If someone is in danger, get out now. Figure the rest out later.
7. “If I move out of the house, I’ll have even less of a relationship with my kids. I have been so busy with work, I never had time to really bond with them, and now I’m afraid I never will.” It is never too late.
8. “Why should I be required to pay her alimony? She’s the one who ruined everything.” It does not matter whose fault it is.
9. “He and I used to do drugs together, what if I can prove that he still does?” All spouses are monsters (including your spouse’s spouse).
10. “I feel like I am not only losing my family, but also my friends; half of them won’t even return my calls anymore.” Divorce Sucks.
What We Love: Every divorce is unique, and also fits certain patterns you are not alone in the wilderness – you are walking a path that has been walked countless times. Memorize – and apply – the ground rules to help you see the forest despite the trees.