My Favorite Types of Divorces

My favorite types of divorces: First, the childless divorce, second, the adult child divorce (with an asterisk). The first category, the childless divorce, is the one I recommend most strongly.  If you are married and plan to divorce please do not have children.  If you are unhappily married please do not have children.  If youContinue reading “My Favorite Types of Divorces”

What it means to see things from the other person’s perspective, and how it might help.

A woman called me last week devastated.  Her 28 year old husband told her he was going to visit his family in another state for a week. By the end of the week he called her and said he changed his mind, he is not returning. He wants a divorce.  (I am not exaggerating, theseContinue reading “What it means to see things from the other person’s perspective, and how it might help.”

Do Not Make These Phone Calls

I remember standing in a line for an airplane flight that had been delayed and watching the man in front of me berating the flight assistant who had the misfortune of bearing the bad news.  I remember thinking that if she did have any food coupons, or any idea when our flight would leave, orContinue reading “Do Not Make These Phone Calls”

10 SENTENCES A DIVORCING PERSON MIGHT SAY

First, a quick refresher on the 5 basic ground rules to understanding (and loving) your divorce: 1.         DIVORCE SUCKS!! 2.         All spouses are monsters (including your spouse’s spouse). 3.         It does not matter whose fault it is.        4.         It is never too late. 5.         If someone’s life is in danger, get out now.  Figure theContinue reading “10 SENTENCES A DIVORCING PERSON MIGHT SAY”

Hi Honey, Let’s Get Divorced.

INFORMING YOUR SPOUSE, FAMILY AND FRIENDS How you tell someone about your divorce plays a large part in how he or she will react to the news.  If your spouse does not already know, try telling someone else, first, to practice what you will say.  Decide what your goals are:  to hurt your spouse?  ToContinue reading “Hi Honey, Let’s Get Divorced.”

How to choose your own Divorce Team

THE DIVORCE TEAM Assemble your team. As you recruit each team member make sure they know that they are being recruited, and for what role. Here are the roles you need to fill, and what their characteristics should be: Cheerleader:  (best friend) Does not offer legal advice. Does not criticize: not you, not your spouse,Continue reading “How to choose your own Divorce Team”

Like the NFL, Divorce is a Team Sport

BEGIN NOW TO THINK OF DIVORCE AS A TEAM SPORT:  Divorce usually begins with a break down in what was supposed to be the ultimate team- the family.  So, it is easy to feel completely alone and outnumbered as we start the divorce process.  It feels as if there is no one to talk to,Continue reading “Like the NFL, Divorce is a Team Sport”

5 Ground Rules to Love Your Divorce

Below are my 5 ground rules to help you (or someone you love) Love Your Divorce: 1.         DIVORCE SUCKS!! 2.         All spouses are monsters (including your spouse’s spouse). 3.         It does not matter whose fault it is.        4.         It is never too late. 5.         If someone’s life is in danger, get out now.  Figure theContinue reading “5 Ground Rules to Love Your Divorce”