Being the Best You In a Divorce

I met a policeman last week.  He has been divorced 8 years and his youngest child just turned 18 after graduating high school.  His child support orders are through, over! He spent a little time discussing the divorce process with me.  He and his wife each had their own lawyers, and they each spent quiteContinue reading “Being the Best You In a Divorce”

The Desert Island Theory

Remember the old game, “If you were stranded on a desert island and could only bring one album* what would it be?” (* or DVD, or CD, or book, or movie, or friend…) The first question, of course, is if you were stranded on a desert island, how did you have time to pack thatContinue reading “The Desert Island Theory”

How Being a Taker Plays Out in Divorce

You know these people – the ones who weigh every relationship, every opportunity, as an opportunity to “get” more.  We’ll call them the Takersons.  A Takerson has two friends, one owns a boat; the other does not.  One Saturday evening the Takersons have dinner plans with their non-boat friends.   Everyone has hired babysitters, arranged theirContinue reading “How Being a Taker Plays Out in Divorce”

The Cost of Divorce

“How long will this take, and how much is it going to cost me?” This is a question divorce attorneys frequently hear from their clients.  Sometimes it is a question regarding an aspect of the divorce – such as a custody modification, or the entire divorce.  It is an interesting question. First, there are someContinue reading “The Cost of Divorce”

It’s always wise to offer kindness

I am inspired by one of the couples I am divorcing in July.  This is what they have:  debts, a looming foreclosure, potential bankruptcy, 1 working vehicle (unregistered), 3 surviving parents (none of whom are helpful), one angry sister-in-law, 2 known affairs, raging alcoholism, and two young children. Only one spouse is capable of earning aContinue reading “It’s always wise to offer kindness”

Bling in Your Face..

What brings divorced people back to a lawyer’s office, or the courthouse?  Usually, a “significant change in circumstances,” or at least the perception of a change in circumstances. Most states have a rule that child support (and sometimes alimony) can be changed after the divorce is final, but only if one spouse’s circumstances change inContinue reading “Bling in Your Face..”

Ease your way into things..

A man once had a cat that he loved very much.  When he went away for a six-month work assignment, he left the cat in the care of his brother, promising to call every week and check on the status of his beloved cat. All went well, until one week when the man called andContinue reading “Ease your way into things..”

Perspective

Perspective. I recently met with a group of marital and family therapists.  Perspective is their job, right?  They  listen to a woman wonder whether she should divorce a man who loves her unconditionally but doesn’t communicate well, she leaves the therapist’s  office and a man walks in whose wife is physically and verbally abusive, butContinue reading “Perspective”

GRATITUDE IN A POST-SANDY WORLD

The eastern seaboard of the United States has just come through a major storm and its after-effects. Hundreds of thousands of people are still without electricity and more are dealing with the results and damages.  More than a hundred people are reported dead.  Those of us who “only” lost heat, or electricity, or cell serviceContinue reading “GRATITUDE IN A POST-SANDY WORLD”