Merry Christmas – Now get the heck out!

End of Year thoughts on Divorce If you have not already served your spouse with divorce papers; why not wait until the holidays are over?  Good divorces start with a good beginning. “Merry Christmas-get the heck out!” is not a good beginning. If you are already in the midst of it, consider taking a hiatus,Continue reading “Merry Christmas – Now get the heck out!”

Great Divorces begin with Great Break-ups

The best break-up I ever heard about was a couple I knew in law school.  “Ken” and “Sarah” had been dating for 5 years.   They had moved out West and bought a house together after college graduation.  Both far from their families, they were each other’s best friends and surrogate family.  In time, they beganContinue reading “Great Divorces begin with Great Break-ups”

The High Costs of Non-Compliance

Recently, I was sitting in the conference room at my office, meeting with a husband and a wife who were signing their final agreement, we’ll call them Mr. and Mrs. Phillips.  We were reviewing terms, crossing Ts and dotting Is, and getting ready to go before the Judge for our hearing.  The hearing will beContinue reading “The High Costs of Non-Compliance”

How (& Why!) to be Welcome at your ex’s Thanksgiving Table

My friend, whom I will call Bill, is divorced with two teenaged sons. The boys live in the marital home with their mom.  Bill still lives in the same town and sees the boys as often as his work & visitation schedules will allow. He misses them a lot.  Unlike some of the families IContinue reading “How (& Why!) to be Welcome at your ex’s Thanksgiving Table”

How Long Should Alimony Last?

Not every divorce is an alimony case – if both people worked full-time and paid the bills equally and have the ability to continue supporting themselves, most states will not assign alimony payments.  If one spouse stayed home (or spent the days playing tennis), raised children (or pets), and ran the household (well or poorly),Continue reading “How Long Should Alimony Last?”

Is Vacationing With Your Ex a Good Idea?

Let’s face it, no one knows you better than your former spouse.  There’s one person in the world who knows exactly how late (or early) you like to get out of bed in the morning.  There are museum strollers vs. mountain climbers; beach bums vs. ski bums; breakfast in bed vs. sunrise in the skyContinue reading “Is Vacationing With Your Ex a Good Idea?”

Beginning Your New Life

Nobody gets married with the intention of getting divorced.  Quite the opposite, “from this day forward, ‘til death parts us.”  And, as we know, it might have been simpler if death had parted certain couples before the divorce process.  Nonetheless once it is over, the sooner it is truly over the better.  Because Divorce Sucks, andContinue reading “Beginning Your New Life”

What it means to see things from the other person’s perspective, and how it might help.

A woman called me last week devastated.  Her 28 year old husband told her he was going to visit his family in another state for a week. By the end of the week he called her and said he changed his mind, he is not returning. He wants a divorce.  (I am not exaggerating, theseContinue reading “What it means to see things from the other person’s perspective, and how it might help.”

5 Ground Rules to Love Your Divorce

Below are my 5 ground rules to help you (or someone you love) Love Your Divorce: 1.         DIVORCE SUCKS!! 2.         All spouses are monsters (including your spouse’s spouse). 3.         It does not matter whose fault it is.        4.         It is never too late. 5.         If someone’s life is in danger, get out now.  Figure theContinue reading “5 Ground Rules to Love Your Divorce”