Is Vacationing With Your Ex a Good Idea?

A hot air balloon in flight at the Mid-Hudson ...
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Let’s face it, no one knows you better than your former spouse.  There’s one person in the world who knows exactly how late (or early) you like to get out of bed in the morning.  There are museum strollers vs. mountain climbers; beach bums vs. ski bums; breakfast in bed vs. sunrise in the sky types of vacationers.  Chances are good that if you and your ex ever got along it was while you were away on vacation together.

So, who better than a former spouse to go away with you on your next vacation?  The relationship has already resolved, so there won’t be any of the icky sub-text (“what does this mean for our future?”  “Is she putting out the vibe?”  “Was he looking at that girl?”). None if it matters any more; the two of you are really there to enjoy where you are and have a safe and comfortable travel companion.

Why take a chance that someone you just met at a bar/online/through an old roommate is the right travel partner for you?  Let that relationship develop at its own pace, at home, where it belongs.  Don’t stop exploring the world; just consider exploring it with someone you already know well.

And, while you are at it, keep the ultimate vacation in mind while you plan your divorce.  Do you want to spend $10,000 fighting over a record collection?  Or give your ex the whole record collection, make a life-long friend, and spend $10,000 following your favorite band for a few months. 

Skip the Alimony check – let’s check out Alaska!

Think the Judge is full of hot air? Forgo court and book a hot air balloon ride!

Custody & visitation issues?  Instead of spending thousands of dollars for your lawyers to fight in court, consider spending hundreds to ship the kids to their grandparents for a few nights while the two of you relax & regroup – either alone or together.

The choices are yours.

What if your ex is already vacationing with your replacement?  Use that $10,000 and try a little away time with “the one that got away:” your favorite ex-ex!

What We Love:  Divorces and vacations can be very similar: you set the budget, the purpose, and the tone.  You cannot control everything that will happen to you while you are there, but you can plan well and be ready for any contingency.

Published by Sharon Oberst DeFala

Sharon Oberst DeFala has practiced low-impact safe divorce since 1992.

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