Sometimes it is difficult to separate the best interest of the minor child from our own best interests. Here is a secret: they are very seldom the same thing. While you are going through (or about to go through) a divorce or legal separation is a time to be extra cautious about keeping everyone’s interestsContinueContinue reading “December Dilemmas”
Author Archives: Sharon Oberst DeFala
When the Divorce Turned Ugly
The minute she found out he has a girlfriend. Here is a phone call I had this week with a new client. We’ll call him Burt. Burt: I need a new lawyer. The one I have been using ruined my divorce. Me: That’s terrible! What happened? Burt: I have no idea. My wife threw meContinueContinue reading “When the Divorce Turned Ugly”
How (& Why!) to be Welcome at your ex’s Thanksgiving Table
My friend, whom I will call Bill, is divorced with two teenaged sons. The boys live in the marital home with their mom. Bill still lives in the same town and sees the boys as often as his work & visitation schedules will allow. He misses them a lot. Unlike some of the families IContinueContinue reading “How (& Why!) to be Welcome at your ex’s Thanksgiving Table”
Grateful for Grandparents
I had the privilege this week of meeting a pair of grandparents who helped give deeper meaning to my Thanksgiving. I’ll call them Poppy and Nana. Poppy and Nana have a son who is divorced from his first wife and re-married. The son has one son from the first marriage and two kids from theContinueContinue reading “Grateful for Grandparents”
Moore and Kutcher: the breaking of a pre nup
Despite his forays into the twitterverse, apparently Ashton Kutcher forgot to read my tweet (@luvyrdivorce) about Eva Longoria from last spring… when Eva Longoria tried to avoid her own pre-nuptial agreement. To wit: Pre nuptial agreements are frequently used in marriages when the parties want a clean record of who brought what to the marriage and what each party mayContinueContinue reading “Moore and Kutcher: the breaking of a pre nup”
Verification Matters
I am working on a mediated divorce between two people who have more debts than assets. Frankly, I have been doing quite a few of these lately. We have clients who have everything worked out but cannot complete their divorce until the marital residence sells or gets foreclosed or refinanced. So, this couple is waitingContinueContinue reading “Verification Matters”
Why Am I Paying His Rent?
I met with a wife tonight who is ready for a divorce. They have exhausted the options for making the marriage work, but she cannot get him off the couch – literally – and she is ready to move on with her life. She has asked him to move out, and he does not knowContinueContinue reading “Why Am I Paying His Rent?”
How to avoid creating a murderer
Happy Halloween. Here is the scariest thing I saw today: “Wife shall purchase Life Insurance in the amount of the outstanding mortgage on the marital residence naming Husband as beneficiary.” Gave me chills – like reading the woman’s death warrant. Spooky on Halloween! Not so bad by itself – I agree – but this wasContinueContinue reading “How to avoid creating a murderer”
How Long Should Alimony Last?
Not every divorce is an alimony case – if both people worked full-time and paid the bills equally and have the ability to continue supporting themselves, most states will not assign alimony payments. If one spouse stayed home (or spent the days playing tennis), raised children (or pets), and ran the household (well or poorly),ContinueContinue reading “How Long Should Alimony Last?”
Is Vacationing With Your Ex a Good Idea?
Let’s face it, no one knows you better than your former spouse. There’s one person in the world who knows exactly how late (or early) you like to get out of bed in the morning. There are museum strollers vs. mountain climbers; beach bums vs. ski bums; breakfast in bed vs. sunrise in the skyContinueContinue reading “Is Vacationing With Your Ex a Good Idea?”
Love Your Divorce 