Grateful for Grandparents

Cranberry Sauce 003
Image by MGF/Lady Disdain via Flickr

I had the privilege this week of meeting a pair of grandparents who helped give deeper meaning to my Thanksgiving.  I’ll call them Poppy and Nana.  Poppy and Nana have a son who is divorced from his first wife and re-married. The son has one son from the first marriage and two kids from the second. The first wife was a party girl and a bit of a wild cat who gave them all a hard time during the bumpy process of their divorce. 

Years go by; the first wife remarries and has two more children. Her son from her first marriage lives with Mom & mom’s new family.  Mom is still a party girl, but now the partying she does is planning parties for her son’s third grade class.  This year she planned a Thanksgiving party that included the kids learning to make cranberry relish.

Chef 3
Image by Geoff LMV via Flickr

So, she called Poppy and Nana and invited them to come make cranberry relish in their grandson’s classroom.  Which they did with – sorry – relish.  They set up a table with 3 food processors, Poppy wore a big white chef’s hat, and every kid had a turn to help make the relish, decorate a container, and bring home a beautiful home made gift for their families.  The three of them – party mom, Nana and Poppy, all worked tirelessly and seamlessly to make a fun event for the kids and a beautiful memory for the grandson.

I was so happily impressed to see their teamwork that I had to ask them about it.  I told that the focus of my divorce work is to help make sure that families still have a relationship on the far side, when the divorce is over.  Nana said. “They always do.  It’s just what kind of a relationship they want it to be.”

Poppy said, “No one wanted a divorce. It was just given to us. The question is what we do with it.”

They are right. This is the moment that we stop and take account of what we have, before the onslaught of what we buy.  This is our moment to take an accounting of our lives and see the blessings we have. Nana and Poppy understand this Thanksgiving party with their grandson’s class is a blessing. 

What We Love:  “The question is what we do with it.”  Thank you, Poppy. I am grateful for your wisdom.

Published by Sharon Oberst DeFala

Sharon Oberst DeFala has practiced low-impact safe divorce since 1992.

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