Keep your eyes on the road ahead..

What divorce does (and does not) solve Well, the truth is, it only solves a few specific things.  Divorce does not make you more (or less) organized, motivated, sober (or carefree), responsible or irresponsible.  It might, for a while, increase or alleviate a few of those traits.  For example, if you are an ordinarily organizedContinue reading “Keep your eyes on the road ahead..”

How Cooperation Can Lead to Champagne..

If you had to have a champagne toast with just one person at the end of your divorce, who would it be? My opinion is that if you have done it right, that person would be your ex-spouse.  Picture two glass flutes, filled 2/3s of the way up with golden hued liquid, bubbles rising toContinue reading “How Cooperation Can Lead to Champagne..”

Don’t underestimate the value of your in-laws…

What is the value of keeping your in-laws in a divorce? I recently heard a woman make an argument that she should be entitled to increased alimony because she lives closer to her in-laws than to her own parents.   Many states use a rubric of factors to determine alimony. Factors may include  length of theContinue reading “Don’t underestimate the value of your in-laws…”

Perspective

Perspective. I recently met with a group of marital and family therapists.  Perspective is their job, right?  They  listen to a woman wonder whether she should divorce a man who loves her unconditionally but doesn’t communicate well, she leaves the therapist’s  office and a man walks in whose wife is physically and verbally abusive, butContinue reading “Perspective”

I Bit Off More Than I Could Chew

I bit off more than I could chew. My kids’ school and their extra-curricular activities, my book group, speaking opportunities and volunteer work, my husband’s travel schedule, social lives for all of us, and – oh, yeah, my job — each grew bigger than I was prepared to handle all at once. The next thingContinue reading “I Bit Off More Than I Could Chew”

Merry Christmas – Now get the heck out!

End of Year thoughts on Divorce If you have not already served your spouse with divorce papers; why not wait until the holidays are over?  Good divorces start with a good beginning. “Merry Christmas-get the heck out!” is not a good beginning. If you are already in the midst of it, consider taking a hiatus,Continue reading “Merry Christmas – Now get the heck out!”

GRATITUDE IN A POST-SANDY WORLD

The eastern seaboard of the United States has just come through a major storm and its after-effects. Hundreds of thousands of people are still without electricity and more are dealing with the results and damages.  More than a hundred people are reported dead.  Those of us who “only” lost heat, or electricity, or cell serviceContinue reading “GRATITUDE IN A POST-SANDY WORLD”

What is the difference between a Guardian Ad Litem (“G-A-L”) and an Attorney For the Minor Children?

In cases involving the custody of minor children there are times when either one of the parties or a judge will suggest that the children need someone to represent their interests.  Sometimes, parents fail to recognize their own inherent conflict of interest with their children.  Frequently, this conflict of interest can result in disaster forContinue reading “What is the difference between a Guardian Ad Litem (“G-A-L”) and an Attorney For the Minor Children?”

Which Costs More – Following or Ignoring Your Attorney’s Advice?

When your lawyer says, “Don’t take his calls for a while; let things cool off, first.”  If the next thing you do is answer an angry phone call from your divorcing husband you are likely to find yourself in the middle of an expensive issue that may not have even existed until you answered theContinue reading “Which Costs More – Following or Ignoring Your Attorney’s Advice?”