Like the NFL, Divorce is a Team Sport

BEGIN NOW TO THINK OF DIVORCE AS A TEAM SPORT: Divorce usually begins with a break down in what was supposed to be the ultimate team- the family.  So, it is easy to feel completely alone and outnumbered as we start the divorce process.  It feels as if there is no one to talk to, orContinue reading “Like the NFL, Divorce is a Team Sport”

Various Meanings of Collaborative Divorce

The first time I became aware of the idea of collaborative divorce was when I was representing a man whose wife’s attorney said he was a collaborative attorney. He gave me a thumbnail sketch of what that term meant to him, and I thought it sounded smart. We could work together as a team andContinue reading “Various Meanings of Collaborative Divorce”

What is the Goal of a Mediated Divorce?

In a mediated divorce we are trying to make sure that everyone gets a fair share of all available resources, including  the assets and debts, the income, and time with the children. But in a litigated divorce there’s an extra item to distribute: Blame. Unlike everything else on the list, there is usually more than enoughContinue reading “What is the Goal of a Mediated Divorce?”

No Pre-Trial Today — No Trial Next Week

I’m not appearing for a judicial pretrial this afternoon. And I am not spending hours preparing for a trial next week, either. Instead, I’ll be finishing up the agreement that my clients reached and preparing the forms that let the judge approve that agreement without the clients having to go to court. The matter involvedContinue reading “No Pre-Trial Today — No Trial Next Week”

Stay Positive and Determine Your Own Happiness

I recently spent the day with a friend I have known for decades.  She lives a few states away and I was unable to help in her divorce, other than to cheer her on from the sidelines.  The husband was ruthless and my dear friend is still reeling, and doing her best to keep aContinue reading “Stay Positive and Determine Your Own Happiness”

Opportunity for Personal Growth

Every divorce – not just a mediated one-is an opportunity for personal growth. At its core, divorce is a transition from one lifestyle to another. From marriage (and its accompanying perks and deficits) to a new life, whether it is as an individual person, a single parent, or someone on the brink of a newContinue reading “Opportunity for Personal Growth”

Holidays 2020: The Indelible Year

One of the things we will all remember about 2020 are the holidays. When we look back at all of the Mother’s Day celebrations we have had in our lives, it is not always easy to remember which one happened in 2006 versus 2010, for example. But whatever we did for Mother’s Day in 2020Continue reading “Holidays 2020: The Indelible Year”

Making the Best of the Bird-Nest

I have 4 pending uncontested divorces right now that range in “amicable” between 1 and 3. 1 being “completely-kindred-spirits” and 3 being “on-the-verge-of-explosion.” These are my suggestions for how to keep an uncontested dissolution closer to a 1 than a 3 during the covid-19 shutdown. Divorce should be treated as both a legal and anContinue reading “Making the Best of the Bird-Nest”


One of the reasons people are often upset with the divorce process is because they think it will change the spouse’s behavior. It does not. It frequently just exacerbates already frustrating situations. The questions one should be asking oneself when contemplating a divorce are not, “Am I happy in this marriage?” The questions need toContinue reading “DECIDING WHETHER TO DIVORCE (OR NOT)”

Simple Tools: The Financial Affidavit

Why, When and How to use your Finanical Affidavit. The most important tool in your divorce is frequently the most over-looked, and avoided. Even its name is off-putting; but it is the key to understanding all of the other issues which arise. It is called (drumroll, please), “The Financial Affidavit” (yawn). Frankly, most people shouldContinue reading “Simple Tools: The Financial Affidavit”