The Fault with Fault

I sat across from a very happy man. He is recently separated from his wife of 25 years. His children, through with their education, are ready for the next phase of their lives and so was he. I had known my friend for more than 20 years and this was the happiest I had everContinue reading “The Fault with Fault”

The Stories we Tell Ourselves

World War 2 medic Henry Beecher had a limited amount of morphine in his bag. He walked across a battlefield strewn with wounded soldiers, some rolling around or crying out in pain; others lying still, quietly bleeding into the earth. Trying to figure out which ones needed his limited supply most, he would walk upContinue reading “The Stories we Tell Ourselves”

The Beauty of Compassion

The first time I ever saw “Lana” she was already on the witness stand as I walked into the court room. I was a new attorney, still in my 20s. I had never seen a divorce before. I didn’t even really know anyone who had been divorced. Most of the work I had done untilContinue reading “The Beauty of Compassion”

Necessary Preparations

When I first met “Rayna” she was scared to ask her husband for a divorce. He pays all the bills, he knows how to fix everything in the house. He doesn’t like surprises. They had discussed divorce from time to time over the years, and he had made it clear that he was worried forContinue reading “Necessary Preparations”

Living with My ex-Husband, Once a Year

Q:        My friend has a timeshare with her husband 14 days every 2 years. They are filing for a divorce. They’ve separated and he lives with his new girl in a different state now. My friend made reservations for 6 days at their timeshare and asked me & my man if we would like toContinue reading “Living with My ex-Husband, Once a Year”

A Husband Upside-down? Maybe backwards?

“When you meet my husband, you won’t believe the things I have told you about him.”  At my law firm, we hear this so frequently from women in emotionally abusive relationships.  They tell us that their husbands belittle, demean, threaten, and frighten them, and yet, to the outside world, the men are charming, funny, considerateContinue reading “A Husband Upside-down? Maybe backwards?”

Divorce is Pretty Popular?

Does this happen to you, too?  People talk to me about their divorces all the time. I don’t just mean my clients. I mean the lady next to me waiting for our dry cleaning, my eye doctor, a mom whose son plays baseball with my son, the cop directing traffic at the corner, the womanContinue reading “Divorce is Pretty Popular?”

Thankfully, Plan C

Her beautiful blue eyes fill up slowly, from the bottom to the top. Then the tears spill over and she starts listing for me all of the clues she has ignored for the past several months.  My heart just breaks for her as she unspools, in the clarity of hindsight, all of the unbidden questionsContinue reading “Thankfully, Plan C”

Divorce Equals Division

Did you ever notice how the words “Divorce” and “divide” both start with the same three letters, the same root?  Divorce can be seen as a time to “divvy-up” assets, debts, photo albums, relatives, and even friends.  You can almost picture a black jack dealer with a green eye-shade laying the “alternate weekends” card inContinue reading “Divorce Equals Division”

Who Do These Agreements Benefit?

I have clients who are in a hurry to finalize their divorce agreement, even though the date of their hearing is months away.  I also have clients who are avoiding me rather than have to commit anything to paper yet.  I have clients who want to know the details of the spouse’s financial picture beforeContinue reading “Who Do These Agreements Benefit?”