Olivia Wilde is confirming my suspicions

Did you read my blog entry on March 21, 2011 entitled “Did Olivia Wilde have a starter marriage?” (In case you missed it, check out:  http://oberstlaw.wordpress.com/2011/03/21/did-olivia-wilde-have-a-%E2%80%9Cstarter-marriage%E2%80%9D/)

0426-olivia-wilde-lagence-dress_li[1]This week Olivia Wilde appears on the cover of June’s Glamour magazine with a photo shoot and interview. The interview discusses her upcoming 7 movies in the next 2 years, including 2 movies this summer (Cowboys & Aliens and The Change-Up)She also talks about her intellectual and supportive parents, their healthy marriage and their ongoing support of her decisions. And, of course, she talks about her divorce from Italian prince and filmmaker Tao Ruspoli.  Here is an excerpt:

 “The mark of a good marriage is partnership and continuing to feel inspired by your spouse. I had that with Tao. But the end is not necessarily the tragedy. Staying in a relationship that is no longer working is the tragedy. Living unhappily — that’s the tragedy.”

It’s similar to what I always say. Divorce is definitely a sad thing; but staying in a bad marriage is infinitely more sad.  Wilde is getting out while she and her husband still have mutual respect for each other. It is easier to remain friends with someone who has never really hurt you.  If you are going to get a divorce someday, by all means, do it before you hate each other.

It is easier to work out the details of a divorce – separating belongings and assets, explaining to friends and family, planning for each person’s future – with someone you can still tolerate.  When a couple divorces with mutual respect and compassion, they each want what is best for the other, within reason.  Waiting until this sense of gentleness and consideration are already gone frequently results in bitter and protracted divorces.

Even if a marriage has continued past the point of calmness and mutual respect it is still possible to put all of that aside and let the divorce process be one of consideration and compassion.

What We Love:  Married at 18 and divorced by 27, Wilde understands that a happy divorce is better than an unhappy marriage.  We wish her a lifetime of happiness (married or not).

Published by Sharon Oberst DeFala

Sharon Oberst DeFala has practiced low-impact safe divorce since 1992.

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